I feel so lost.
Up until a few years ago, I felt like my life had direction. Maybe it didn’t; hindsight through past layers of depression is often murky. Maybe I was exactly as apathetic and aimless then as I am now. But I feel like I had more purpose then. Now, I feel like a shell, a veil of skin being worn over a body made of air and little else.
I’m not even a bag of meat and water, I’m less than that.
And I feel like I’m fading away. I’m being erased, little by little, withering into a wisp of smoke, a haze of a person.
It won’t be long before I’m just a Nothing.
I don’t really have a lot to say today, just more of the same drab melancholy. Things aren’t looking good for my Mother-in-law, so my wife has been spending a lot of time with her, and I’ve been trying to do what I can to function to keep my kids on schedule. It’s so incredibly stressful; I don’t see an end in sight. I just feel myself spiraling deeper and deeper, losing more and more touch with reality and not being able to do anything about it, and just being this awful burden on my wife who needs me so much right now to keep it together. How do I do that though? How do I make anything happen that needs to happen when I feel like such a lost cause?
Artwork by Sam Mameli. Copyright 2018.
The Lost
Size: Medium
AC: None
HD: varies (48 hp)
No. App: 6-12
Attacks: None
Dmg: see below
Special: see below
XP: 0 or 125
The Lost are a roaming pod of people who shuffle along as a closely packed group. Their skin is pale and drab, their hair long and raggedy, their nails long and curled. In brief, they are unkempt, and they are clung together by their unkemptness.
The Lost keep to themselves, relatively unaware of their surroundings. In reality, they are apathetic towards their surroundings; whatever is happening, nothing concerns them.
They are relatively harmless, but can pose as an obstacle, especially to anyone expressing concern towards them.
Spending too much time in the vicinity of the Lost will drain a person’s Constitution; when their constitution reaches 0, the person will join the shambling mass of people.
Slaughtering the Lost offers no XP; finding out the best way to avoid them is worth 125 XP; figuring out a way to cure them/free them is worth 1,000 XP.