Ivory Handles

Okay hold on a minute, let me reevaluate what I’m doing here.

I’ve been struggling quietly with my depression since my mother-in-law passed away. I thought about coming back to this blog to discuss it, and maybe looking back I should have, but instead I took a month away from here to compose myself. It hasn’t been an easy time. My wife is still in shock; we all are, because even though Mom was sick and in the hospital, we still had hopes she would be coming home. That didn’t happen, and what’s been left for us is a void too large to fill.

I’m not certain what I’m feeling anymore. Part of it is relief; she’s at peace at least, no more suffering for her. But she was such an integral part of my family. I’m still battling depression, and still struggling to try to be something I don’t think I can be, someone who is there emotionally and mentally for my wife. It’s just too much to deal with.

How do I overcome that feeling though? What can I do to get myself through the painful part of feeling worthless and alone, despite having a loving family, and friends who care about me? How can I “snap out of it” and be there for my wife in this difficult time?

Ivory Door Handles

Throughout the Dungeon of Depression are triangular rooms, all of which lie behind doors with ornate ivory handles. These handles denote the chambers inside are sanctuaries; meditation chambers that offer respite from the seemingly endless barrage of depression and apathy that fills the rest of the dungeon.

The appearance of these doors is random, however, as the sanctuaries themselves are not fixed in space; locating an ivory handle in an area does not mean that handle will remain. The chambers do not move while occupied but once exited they shift and relocate throughout the dungeon.