Being depressed is a terrible burden, and there’s a lot to be said on that subject: something I’m not personally capable of getting into at length, and something I’m sure others on other websites could delve into in more detail. But I have something to say about the burden itself. To be depressed is to … [Read more…]
I’m fighting to write this post. Every impulse in my body is telling me to stop, because there’s nothing new I can contribute and little purpose to anything I post here. It’s me in a dark corner and it’s getting darker and there’s no one listening and why am I bothering? Even if someone was … [Read more…]
Okay hold on a minute, let me reevaluate what I’m doing here. I’ve been struggling quietly with my depression since my mother-in-law passed away. I thought about coming back to this blog to discuss it, and maybe looking back I should have, but instead I took a month away from here to compose myself. It … [Read more…]
This morning, my mother-in-law passed away. She was 70 years old. My wife and I are both devastated by this sudden loss. I’m not sure how to express what I’m feeling at this moment. Maybe I’ll come back and write more, but for the time being I can’t think of anything to say.
I feel so lost. Up until a few years ago, I felt like my life had direction. Maybe it didn’t; hindsight through past layers of depression is often murky. Maybe I was exactly as apathetic and aimless then as I am now. But I feel like I had more purpose then. Now, I feel like … [Read more…]
Depression is a strange companion to have. It lingers with you and leans on you, filling your thoughts with a pressure until they are pushed out of the way, and all that’s left is the sense of loss and apathy associated with the depression. It becomes difficult to do anything; to break the spell and … [Read more…]
I’ve hated myself for years. I’m one of those people who is constantly in a state of self-evaluation, determining my worth to be near zero, despite having a loving wife and two amazing daughters. I have a career too, and have even started my very own business. I have a lot to be thankful for. … [Read more…]