Here is Fiona’s final post on the subject of depression. You can find Fiona online here. Feelings of spite remain hard to contain. I like to pretend that nothing bothers me, I know this is a lie. Things get under my skin. When something does lodge there, I find myself obsessively engaged with it, turning … [Read more…]
Here is Part Two of Fiona’s contribution to the blog and the subject of depression. As before, you can find Fiona online here. Outside of therapy and taking a lot of medication; I practice death meditation—Maraṇasati for those that are Buddhist—as outlined in the Hagakure but the practice exists in Theravada and Tibetan Buddhism. Every … [Read more…]
I mentioned in the last post that I’d be introducing guest bloggers to discuss their own take on depression. Here is my friend Fiona sharing her own insights, along with some interesting new entries for the Depression Dungeon. You can find Fiona online here. Empathy is an Agony I don’t know how to start writing … [Read more…]
Wow, it’s been awhile. I’m still alive though, in case you were curious. This dungeon hasn’t consumed me yet. I’ll be working on some new material in the coming weeks. I’m also going to be bringing in other contributors, to share their unique take on depression. I don’t have much to say tonight, just that … [Read more…]
I am frustrated with life. So many responsibilities to worry about: work, kids, my wife, our health, our home, our finances: the burden is real and the pressure mounts and mounts, it’s inescapable. My brain is like some storm of endless chaos, churning over and over. All I want to do is scream, but that’s … [Read more…]
I’m having a panic attack right now. It feels like I’m fighting to keep my head above water. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world and it comes over you like a sudden wave, crashing down and trapping you. I’m standing in my kitchen and I’m scared out of my mind, and it’s … [Read more…]
I thought about killing myself last night. I had had a good week off from work; the week ended with a really great birthday celebration for me, and I felt really happy. And then, well, I didn’t. It came over me like a tsunami, a wave of awful darkness that swallowed me up whole. I … [Read more…]
I’ve heard silence can be deafening. But to a depressed person, silence is a lot worse. This is because when you’re depressed, silence isn’t a peaceful stillness; it’s filled with noise, internal voices of doubt and confusion, self-hatred, loathing. It’s an inescapable force that bears down on you. Silence is crushing. I hate the silence, … [Read more…]
Being depressed is a terrible burden, and there’s a lot to be said on that subject: something I’m not personally capable of getting into at length, and something I’m sure others on other websites could delve into in more detail. But I have something to say about the burden itself. To be depressed is to … [Read more…]
I’m fighting to write this post. Every impulse in my body is telling me to stop, because there’s nothing new I can contribute and little purpose to anything I post here. It’s me in a dark corner and it’s getting darker and there’s no one listening and why am I bothering? Even if someone was … [Read more…]